IRL Influencers

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn is famous for saying “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with,” and while we could over the familiar nature vs. nurture debate the real point of this truism is to get you to think about how the people surrounding you are shaping you.

For young children who are forming their foundational beliefs about themselves and the world around them that is arguably even more important.

Former Google data scientist Seth Stevens-Davidowitz examined studies of twins separated at birth and detailed IRS data to find the factor that most closely correlated with a child’s success later in life (as defined by things like income, health, test scores, etc.) was not whether they learned a foreign language, achieved academically, or many of the myraid things parents fret over but whether they grew up in a neighborhood of people who scored highly on similar outcomes.

Now, whether those are the markers you’re aiming for to determine how successful your kids are is up to you but when you step back from the specifics the more important takeaway is the statistical verification of Rohn’s statement - the people around your kids strongly influence who they become. Stevens-Davidowitz estimates “25 percent--and possibly more--of the overall effects of a parent are driven by where that parent raises their child.”

So today I encourage you to consider who the people are surrounding your kids outside of your nuclear family, particularly those 5 or so most involved in your kids' lives (other kids count too!).

• Did you intentionally choose these people or are they just sort of the ones who happen to be around?

• What might they be teaching your kids about the world and how to be in it (intentionally or not)?

• Is there anything missing from the people around your kids? (i.e. diversity, models of courage, a trusted confidant, etc.)

At The Fatherhood Circle we are building a supportive community of dads who are dedicated to the continuous pursuit of learning and growth, hold a sense of hope and possibility for the future, and are consciously passing these characteristics down to our kids. It’s an inspiring group to be a part of and surround your family with and I hope you’ll join us to add to our strengths.

For more, subscribe to our newsletter or join one of our facilitated small groups for dads.